I know. Most Moms do not get to take sick days. I’m blessed to have the Tall, Dark, and Slightly Neanderthal Fellow I married at home full time, so the potential is there. And after our “adventure” in June (which involved Himself, pneumonia, bronchiolitis, fainting spells, and six weeks of truly nearly-dead husband-husbandry), he promised that I’d banked at least two weeks of sick time with full revocation of Primary Parent duties, including any vomit-tending and “wiping”. That’s like vacation!
But the rather sucky thing about calling in that sick time is that I kind of need to be… well… sick. Otherwise the maternal guilt is overwhelming. Like, to the point that I can’t even enjoy a good Battlestar Galactica marathon, because my children want to be near me, and I can’t plead germs, sorry with any sort of sincerity.
Luckily, I seem to be part lizard, and that has led me to a real and truly sick sick day. You see, lo, these many years ago, I had tonsils like softballs. Rotting bacterially-challenged softballs, and so the surgeon scraped them out of my head, and I was better. For decades I was better! Sure, I had this little shelf on each side of the back of my throat, and I would occasionally get some food stuck on that shelf and gag a bit, but it sure beat the constant illness that got me out of a heck of a lot of school in my teens.
(Seriously, I counted it up once, and I only showed up for about 1.5 years of high school. Really. Horrific tonsils saved my sanity as an angsty teen, and provided me with Mom-Soup to boot!)
The lizard bit ties in thusly: a few years ago, I noticed there was something in the back of my throat… a filling in of that shelf, if you will. Turns out, I’m regenerating. Since lizards do that, I figure I must have had some random contact with a mutant lizard at some point being in The Nature (it’s dangerous out there in The Nature, I’m telling you!), and now I have random mutant lizard DNA influencing the re-growth of a little bitty tonsil.
Said tonsil is currently inflamed and Largely Miserable. I am feverish, and tired, and SICK.
But, I’m taking a sick day or two, with Great Legitimacy, and I’m going to enjoy the heck out of that!